by TheCommish in

No matter how unpredictable fantasy football can be, there’s an uncanny pattern where certain teams have the upper hand when facing others. We’ve shared our laughs and friendly banter about it, turning those matchups into hilarious or frustrating affairs, depending on where you fall on it. Maybe it’s luck, strategy, or just a strange twist of fate, but it’s undeniably amusing how particular opponents become another’s bitch. In no particular order:

Shout out: Big thanks to Ben for posing for the featured image above. You’re a natural!

The Pimps own The Midway Monsters:

The Pimps have a 17-10 record against the Monsters over the years, which comes out to a 63% win rate over the reigning champs. They face off this coming week, so stay tuned for the next butt whipping.

Jesters slap the pimps around

Who’s the bitch now?!? For some reason, the Jesters step up big against The Pimps. Their career record again them is 16-8, which is a 67% win rate. The Pimps will bend the knee again when they match up in Week 5.

The Darque warriors dominate the Scallywags:

Darque consistently puts the Scallywags in their place. Much like a cockroach under their shoe, the Darque Warriors come out on top against these little guys. Lifetime record VS Scallywags: 25-10. That’s a 70.6% win rate!! Look for this theme to continue when they face off in Week 7.

The irish pride owned the Flatland hurricanes

Back in the day, the Irish Pride humiliated the Flatland Hurricanes. They had a 4-1 record against Andrew, which comes out to an 80% winning percentage. Perhaps that’s what drove our 1-time champ out of the league; the inability to beat the Irish.

JoE Buck yourself owns everyone apparently

Dude has came into the league and made all of us his bitches! Who is going to step up and say, NO MORE!

Midway monsters dominate the darque warriors

The Darque Warriors bow down to Midway. They take it and say give me more please. Midway is 19-8 against Darque. That’s a 70.4% win rate. These two see each other very shortly; in Week 5.

scallywags owned the budda nuggs

Back when the Scallywags were the IcEbAy bAsHeRs, they did not lose against Todd Cloyd’s Budda Nuggs team. A perfect 4-0. Too bad they didn’t stay in the league longer. A nice punching bag like that is like having a week off.

GB Gamblers trampled the Misfits

The Gamblers have a ~62% win rate versus a few teams. However, they had a knack for taking down the Misfits. Lifetime record vs the Misfits, 6-1. That a 85.7% win rate. That’s owning.

Sons of anarchy smoked the purple haze

SOA have the edge on a few teams, but tops was their record versus good ol Purple Haze. Sons Of Anarchy were known as Squish The Fish at the time and they held a 7-4 record vs Haze. That’s 63.6% win rate.

America’s team puts the scallywags on a leash

The Top Dawgs make sure to play their best against the Swashbuckling Scallywags. Or, as was this year’s case, the Scallywags know when to choke. The Dawgs have been taking the Scallywags to town for a while now, with a record of 24-13. That comes out to a 64.9% win rate. The Scallywags will get another chance to pad the Dawgs win column in Week 11’s rematch.

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