by The Pimps are on a tear. They took down the Dawgs with ease and extend their win streak to 4 and have 1st place locked down. The Irish are returning to form as they continue their climb. The Warriors are on a 2-game win streak as well.
Even Joe Buck Yourself got in on the action this week. He notched his first victory. This leaves Tacoman9000 as the last winless team. How long will this futility last??
The Games
🧢 Joe Buck Yourself (128.08) vs. 🏴☠️ Swashbuckling Scallywags (103.06)
The losing streak is OVER 🧨 — and it ended with a bang 💥.
Joe Buck Yourself 🧢 exploded for 128.08 points, the 🥇 highest total in the league this week, to notch their first win of the season and finally climb out of the cellar. Meanwhile, the 🏴☠️ Scallywags have officially sailed into stormy waters 🌊, dropping their third straight to fall to 1-3.
Daniel Jones 🧠 set the tone with 23.58 points, while Josh Jacobs 🐂 bulldozed his way to 27.7. But the true star was Ashton Jeanty 🌟, who came out of nowhere to torch defenses for 32.5 in the flex. Even the Packers D 🧀 held their ground, keeping the scoreboard rising all day long.
The Scallywags leaned on their captain Josh Allen 🦾 for 28.86 points, and Puka Nacua 🧠 delivered 24.0, but the rest of the crew abandoned ship 🚢. Travis Kelce 🦴 and Jaylen Waddle 🐬 both struggled, combining for under 10 points, leaving Mickey’s team stranded.
Joe Buck Yourself didn’t just win — they made a statement 📢.
After three losses, Dennis’s squad reminded the league why they were feared last season. Meanwhile, the Scallywags are looking to patch the sails before this losing streak sinks their season. ⛵
🐶 Top Dawgs (96.28) vs. 🕶️ The Pimps (119.6) – Pimps Stay Perfect at 4-0
The Pimps just keep on rollin’. With a 119.6–96.3 victory over the Top Dawgs, Ben’s squad improves to 4-0, remaining the lone undefeated team in the league and holding firm at the top of the standings. Patrick Mahomes looked sharp once again, George Pickens delivered a highlight play, and Kyren Williams continued to dominate on the ground. It was a balanced, confident performance that showed exactly why the Pimps have been the class of the league so far.
The Top Dawgs, meanwhile, ran into trouble. Lamar Jackson left the game early in the third quarter with a hamstring injury, and the offense never fully recovered. Ja’Marr Chase’s struggles continued, as he managed only 2.3 points in another frustrating outing. Outside of Christian McCaffrey’s steady production, the Dawgs couldn’t find the firepower to keep pace.
This was a statement win for the Pimps, who are clearly on a mission this season. The Dawgs, now at 2-2, have plenty of talent but will need to regroup quickly if they want to keep pace with the league’s frontrunners.
👹 Midway Monsters (109.88) vs. 🐺 Darque Warriors (111.38)
The Darque Warriors are living dangerously — and thriving. Brad’s squad pulled off their second straight nailbiter, storming back late on Monday night to edge out the Midway Monsters by just 1.5 points for the second week in a row. It’s not just a win streak… it’s a cardiac streak.
The Monsters had control most of the way, with solid outings from Caleb Williams, James Cook, and Amon-Ra St. Brown putting them in a strong position heading into Monday. But the Warriors had one more howl left. Jordan Love lit up Sunday with a huge 33.28-point performance, and on Monday night, the Warriors chipped away with Garrett Wilson, sealing the comeback in dramatic fashion.
For the Monsters, this one hurts. A tight game, a lead late, and then heartbreak under the primetime lights. For the Warriors, it’s back-to-back thrillers, both decided by 1.5 points — and suddenly, this team has serious momentum.
☘️ Irish Pride (125.9) vs. 🃏 Green Bay Gamblers (102.64) – Pride Rises, Streak Snapped
Irish Pride came into Week 4 riding some momentum — and they left the Gamblers in their wake. With a 125.9-point outburst, the Pride notched the second-highest score in the league this week and extended their winning streak to two games, vaulting up the standings in the process. Jalen Hurts was in command, Bucky Irving made big plays, and the supporting cast chipped in across the board for a complete team win.
The Green Bay Gamblers, on the other hand, saw their two-game winning streak snapped. Bo Nix put up a monster 30-point performance to keep them competitive, but the rest of the lineup couldn’t keep pace with the Pride’s balanced attack. Even Saquon Barkley’s strong effort wasn’t enough to close the gap.
Irish Pride looks like a team finding its groove, while the Gamblers will have to regroup after running into a hot opponent. If Pride keeps playing like this, the rest of the league better take notice.
🌮 Tacoman9000 (91.52) vs. 🤡 Miami Jesters (96.4) – Jesters Escape, Taco Still Winless
It wasn’t pretty, but a win’s a win. The Miami Jesters stumbled their way to victory this week, putting up the third-lowest score in the league… but luckily for them, they were facing the one team who’s had it worse than anyone so far — Tacoman9000, who delivered the lowest score of the week. The Jesters now move to 3-1, climbing up to third place despite a less-than-stellar performance.
Tacoman9000’s season, meanwhile, continues to slide in the wrong direction. Justin Herbert and Justin Jefferson couldn’t provide their usual fireworks, and the rest of the lineup fizzled, leaving them still winless at 0-4. It’s been a brutal stretch — no salsa, no spice, just heartbreak.
The Jesters may have tripped across the finish line, but in this league, style points don’t matter. A win’s in the books… and for TacoMan, the search for that first W goes on.
Weekly awards
standings
Pimps sitting on top of the league for 2 straight weeks now. The Irish are lurking! Jesters have the 5th most points scored in the league, but will gladly take that #3 spot. Monsters missed a big opportunity with that loss. Dawgs keep falling. Gamblers and Warriors sitting right in the mix with their 2-2 records. The Scallywags look to plug a few holes in their sinking shop. Joe Buck Yourself is celebrating with getting that first win. TacoMan is snoring.
