by TheCommish in
Crunchtime News Fantasy Football News


A bit late, a bit short, but the 2024 content begins.

So…..Week 1 happened. Football returned and it was great. …well, for 5 teams it was even better. The champ started his “Defend The Title Tour” off with a win. In fact, 3 out of the 4 playoff teams from last year started out with a win (Irish, Pimps, Joe Buck Yourself). Only the Midway Monsters stumbled out of the gate. I guess it’s probably a bad omen when your #1 pick is face down and in handcuffs to start the day. Oof.

Speaking of bad omens, how bout the Scallywags. They drafted the dude on the Madden cover with their #1 pick. How’d you think that was gonna work out? …Please return soon, Mr. McCaffrey!

On a brighter note, the league finally remembered that we’re supposed to beat down the new guy and give him loss after loss. …unlike last years debacle of Joe Buck Yourself parading through the league with 10 regular season wins. Sorry Tacoman, we’re gonna need to kick you around for a bit!


OH LOOKIE


week 1 AWARDS

High octane

Highest point total of the week

DARQUE WARRIORS
133.78 POINTS SCORED

LOW BLOW

Lowest point total of the week

JESTERS
59.56 POINTS SCORED

BEST LOSER

Highest point total of the losing team

TACOMAN9000
102.68 Points Scored

WORST WINNER

Lowest point total of the winning teams.

THE PIMPS
98.6 POINTS SCORED

BEST MANAGER

Highest management score

DARQUE WARRIORS
96.40% Management Score

worst manager

Lowest management score.

TOP DAWGS
60.10% Management Score

week 1 mvp – 32.20 Points

Saquon Barkley – THE PIMPS, Drafted 1st Round, #7 Overall

week 1 lvp – 8.06 Points

JOE BURROW – JESTERS – DRAFTED 8TH ROUND

Did Joe Burrow lose a bet? WTF did he do to his hair??

stay tuned

Keep an eye out for upcoming content. Weekly matchup previews will be returning very soon, along with other hard hitting reporting from the league office.

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