by Two Weeks In, and the Early Contenders Are Starting to Separate
Week 2 is in the books, and Crunchtime already has some very different trajectories developing. The Pimps and TacoMan9000 moved to 2–0 with convincing victories, while the Scallywags also stayed unbeaten after surviving the Top Dawgs. Irish Pride bounced back behind a monster performance from Josh Allen, and the Green Bay Gamblers sent the defending champions to a stunning 0–2 start.
At the other end, Joe Buck Yourself and the Midway Monsters are both searching for their first win. And for the Monsters, this isn’t just an 0–2 start — it’s an 0–2 start one year after raising the Crunchtime trophy.
💰 THE PIMPS 147.86, JESTERS 93.14
Pimps Put the League on Notice
The Pimps didn’t just improve to 2–0. They dropped 147.86 points, the highest score of Week 2, and absolutely overwhelmed the Jesters.
Dak Prescott was sensational with 37.76, while CeeDee Lamb (28.3), Amon-Ra St. Brown (27.2) and Jonathan Taylor (25.2) turned this into a rout. Those four players alone combined for more than 118 points.
The Jesters got 21 from the Patriots defense and 20.9 from James Cook, but their receivers killed them. Justin Jefferson managed only 5.5 and DJ Moore actually finished at -0.1. Jayden Daniels’ 16.74 wasn’t nearly enough to keep pace.
The Pimps opened 2025 with five straight wins before eventually falling short in the playoffs. Now Ben has started 2–0 again, and this week’s 147.86 is the first real explosion of 2026.
Final: Pimps 147.86 — Jesters 93.14
🌮 TACOMAN9000 116.76, JOE BUCK YOURSELF 65.88
TacoMan Rolls While JBY Hits Rock Bottom
TacoMan9000 is 2–0.
Jaxon Smith-Njigba was the difference-maker, exploding for 34.5 points, while Jalen Hurts added 20.16 and Brandon Aubrey delivered an enormous 17 points from the kicker position. TacoMan even survived getting a zero from Puka Nacua.
For Joe Buck Yourself, there isn’t much sugarcoating a 65.88-point performance. Omarion Hampton’s 15.5 was the team’s best score. Malik Nabers produced just 0.1, Justin Herbert scored 9.88, and the lineup never really got moving.
Dennis has now opened the season 0–2, losing first to the Pimps and then by more than 50 to TacoMan. Meanwhile, Hector’s TacoMan squad has quietly turned a 2–0 start into one of the early stories of the season.
Final: TacoMan9000 116.76 — Joe Buck Yourself 65.88
☘️ IRISH PRIDE 111.82, DARQUE WARRIORS 94.98
Josh Allen Says Enough Is Enough
Irish Pride needed a response after losing its opener. Josh Allen provided one.
Allen erupted for 46.82 points, accounting for more than 40% of Irish Pride’s entire score. DeVonta Smith added 18.7 and Christian McCaffrey contributed 18.6 as Rich picked up his first victory of 2026.
The Darque Warriors had a respectable day from Joe Burrow (20.18), Ja’Marr Chase (19.5) and Chris Olave (14.6), but nobody produced the kind of performance necessary to counter Allen.
And there was a painful number sitting on the Irish Pride bench: Davante Adams — 32.5 points. Fortunately for Rich, Allen made sure it didn’t matter.
Both teams leave Week 2 at 1–1.
Final: Irish Pride 111.82 — Darque Warriors 94.98
🎰 GB GAMBLERS 85.00, MONSTERS 51.52
The Champs Are in Trouble
This might be the biggest storyline coming out of Week 2.
The defending champion Midway Monsters are 0–2 after scoring just 51.52 points, the lowest total of the week.
The Gamblers didn’t exactly light up the scoreboard themselves, but they didn’t need to. Kenneth Walker III scored 18.8, Lamar Jackson added 16.8 and Harrison Butker supplied another 16.0. That was enough to move the Gamblers to 2–0 after their razor-thin Week 1 victory over the Top Dawgs.
For the Monsters, almost nothing worked. Caleb Williams scored 7.72. Brian Robinson had 8.1. George Pickens and Jameson Williams combined for only 7.3.
And then there was Tyler Shough.
He sat on the Monsters’ bench with 24.38 points — nearly half as many points as the entire starting lineup produced.
After winning their fourth Crunchtime championship last season, the Monsters have opened their title defense with consecutive losses to the Darque Warriors and Gamblers.
Final: Green Bay Gamblers 85.00 — Midway Monsters 51.52
🏴☠️ SCALLYWAGS 108.98, TOP DAWGS 100.28
McE Survives the Goff Explosion
The closest game of Week 2 belonged to the Scallywags and Top Dawgs.
Jared Goff went nuclear for the Dawgs with 38.78 points, and Jahmyr Gibbs added 17.3. But after those two, the production disappeared. No other Top Dawgs position player reached double figures.
McE got his own huge quarterback performance from Patrick Mahomes, who scored 35.98. Dalton Kincaid chipped in 15.5, Derrick Henry scored 14.7 and Aaron Jones added 11.5.
That balance proved to be the difference.
The Top Dawgs suffered their second straight one-score loss. After losing 112.86–112.14 to the Gamblers in Week 1, they fell by just 8.70 this week. Two weeks, two losses, despite scoring 212.42 total points.
Meanwhile, McE and the Scallywags are 2–0.
Final: Scallywags 108.98 — Top Dawgs 100.28
📊 THE WEEK 2 AFTERMATH
Two weeks into the season, The Pimps, TacoMan9000, Green Bay Gamblers and the Scallywags are all 2–0. Irish Pride and the Darque Warriors sit at 1–1.
The Jesters fall to 0–2, while the Top Dawgs are also 0–2 despite losing two competitive games. Joe Buck Yourself is 0–2 after being outscored 243.86–145.74 through two weeks.
And then there are the defending champions.
The Midway Monsters entered 2026 carrying the trophy after winning their fourth championship. Two weeks later they’re 0–2, and their 51.52-point Week 2 performance was the lowest score in Crunchtime.
It’s only September.
But in Crunchtime, 0–2 has a way of making Week 3 feel a whole lot bigger than Week 3.
🏈 Crunchtime Standings — After Week 2
| Rank | Team | Record | Points Scored | Points Against |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Pimps | 2-0 | 274.96 | 173.00 |
| 2 | Tacoman9000 | 2-0 | 243.38 | 178.24 |
| 3 | The Scallywags | 2-0 | 209.52 | 182.94 |
| 4 | Green Bay Gamblers | 2-0 | 197.86 | 163.66 |
| 5 | Irish Pride | 1-1 | 224.18 | 221.60 |
| 6 | Darque Warriors | 1-1 | 205.14 | 221.18 |
| 7 | Top Dawgs | 0-2 | 212.42 | 221.84 |
| 8 | Miami Jesters | 0-2 | 175.80 | 248.40 |
| 9 | Midway Monsters | 0-2 | 160.88 | 195.16 |
| 10 | Joe Buck Yourself | 0-2 | 145.74 | 243.86 |
The Pimps are the clear early #1, leading Crunchtime with 274.96 points after posting the league’s high score in both Week 1 (127.10) and Week 2 (147.86).
The Top Dawgs are the statistical oddity: they’re 0-2 but have scored 212.42, more than two of the four undefeated teams and more than the 1-1 Darque Warriors. They’ve lost their first two games by a combined 9.42 points.
And the defending champion Midway Monsters sit 0-2 and ninth, with only Joe Buck Yourself scoring fewer points through two weeks.
